Can anyone blame me (and the rest of us in the same boat) for wanting to avoid those who, though no doubt has no unkind intentions, make innocent but hurtful comments about our childbearing progress? Most often than not, these are folks of the older generation – uncles and aunties, as we call them in my culture. Nosy parkers…in church!
This happened on three separate occasions this year with three different uncles and aunties from my church.
#1:
Breakfast before church in a crowded coffeeshop. We spot a table with an uncle and aunty we know, and they wave us over to share the table as they are leaving soon.
The husband goes to order food, while I sit with the aunty.
Aunty: (cheerfully) So how’s work?
Me: Oh, yeah, well it’s-
Aunty: (Still with a smile on her face, cuts in) Why, too busy for family ah?
Me: (Knowing exactly what she meant by ‘family’, I’m completely turned off. Just fake-smile. Fake-check my phone..) …
#2:
Hanging out at the church porch after service. Someone’s baby is being ‘passed around’ among friends. Husband carries baby. An uncle comes by and participates in playing with said baby.
After a few moments, the uncle turns directly to me.
Uncle: I’ll just say one thing. Don’t wait too long. (Winks. Walks away.)
Me: (I want to *censored for gore and violence*.) —
#3:
Walking into church for the second service of the morning. An uncle is walking out after the first service.
Uncle: (Hand stretched out) Eh, hi! Long time no see, eh?
Husband: Yeah, good morning! (Shakes hand.)
I hang back a little and do not attempt to engage / shake his hand because I instinctively know he is one of those uncles. I want to keep the interaction short.
Uncle: So… Your baby coming, huh? (Winks at me)
I don’t even bother to fake-smile, and keep on walking.
Husband: (Stunned. Starts walking off too..) *with an attempted hint of sarcasm* Errrr, my baby huh? *Obvious fake laugh*
We walk off.
Church isn’t really full of these people, but yet, sometimes it just feels like it is. They don’t mean any harm. But they sure have done a lot of it.
heartsongwords 
They have never sailed in the boat we are in and hence don’t know how we hold ourselves tight within even with the strongest wave (their comments) that hit us.